the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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