There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
