I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
