My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
