If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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