nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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