from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize