Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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