im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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