dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
