I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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