so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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