Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize