he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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