my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think i have herpe
just one?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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