i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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