Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize