dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
