Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
