I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pants are for mortals
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
