she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize