he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
