Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
