Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
