he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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