My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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