I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
