i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
