Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
