only if we run a train.
done.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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