I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
