Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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