Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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