You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
