well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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