Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
