This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
