im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think your dad took our porno
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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