happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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