Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
