How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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