He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
