If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's just like the Real World with babies
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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