im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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