FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
