life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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