Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize