are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it because I queefed?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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