Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
