Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
