I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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