You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
