I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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