im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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