return my video game
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
