remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
