an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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