there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
